F***ed Up Friday: "Untouchable Face" by Ani Difranco

Welcome back, cats and kittens, to another edition of F***ed Up Friday, music for your emotional needs.  In the past, we've examined songs about unrequited love, stalking, jealousy, stalking, longing, stalking, and hacking your arms off in an attempt to woo a murderer.  But sometimes those emotions and those sentiments aren't going to cut it.  Sometimes you don't want to have a pity party with wine and Tori Amos on repeat.  No...you want anger.  You want rage.  And no one does justifiable (or unjustifiable) anger better than a lesbian with a guitar.

They don't have a guitar, but they are lesbians.  And it gives me an excuse to post a Sailor Moon picture!

Today, we're going back in time to your intrepid hero's high school days.  Having moved on from The Cranberries, I needed something new.  Sure, I had my fling with Alanis (who will likely grace these pages someday soon), but it was Ani Difranco who seemed to bring my friends and I together the most.  As I think about it, I've seen her...I think 4 times in concert, all with different people.

Like many of our past and future FUFers, there are many a song that I could pick, and probably I will use many of hers in the future.  But this one is partly for sentimental reasons.  Sure it wasn't the first Ani song I ever listened to...but it was the first track on the first Ani CD I ever owned.

From her 1996 album "Dilate," today's FUF selection is "Untouchable Face" by Ani Difranco:

The first thing about the song is how...calm it is.  However, let's be honest.  While Dido's eerie calm is a way to lull you into security before she puts you under house arrest and threatens to cut you should you ever leave her, Ani's calm doesn't hide her true intentions.  Rather...it's just the slow burning seething.

Think I'm going for a walk now
I feel a little unsteady
I don't want no one to follow me
Except maybe you
I could make you happy, you know
If you weren't already
I could do a lot of things
And I do

Totally my life story.  Honestly.  I'm the best person ever at finding out if some one's in a relationship, because if I like them, they totally are.  Or the plumbing won't work.*
*By which I mean the boy parts and girl parts aren't in the right ratio, if you get my drift...

Tell you the truth, I prefer the worst of you
Too bad you had to have a better half
She's not really my type
But I think you two are forever
And I hate to say it but you're perfect together

Ugh, but who hasn't said it?

Even this guy said it eventually.  Although then again, he fell in love with an infant, so he's probably not the best judge of who should be in a relationship with who.

So fuck you
And your untouchable face
Fuck you
For existing in the first place
And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch?
Who am I?
Bet you can't even tell me that much

Preach it sister.  Who hasn't wanted to say that, at least once?

2:30 in the morning
My gas tank will be empty soon
Neon sign on the horizon
Rubbing elbows with the moon
Safe haven of the sleepless
Where the deep fryer's always on
Radio is counting down the top 20 country songs

Dive bar.  Bottle of wine on your couch.  What's the difference?

Out on the porch the fly strip is
Waving like a flag in the wind
You know I really don't look forward
To seeing you again soon


You look like a photograph of yourself
Taken from far, far away
I won't know what to do
I won't know what to say


So fuck you
And your untouchable face
Fuck you
For existing in the first place
And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch?
Who am I?
Bet you can't even tell me that much

See you and I'm so perplexed
What was I thinking?

Amen, sister!

What will I think of next?
Where can I hide?
In the back room there's a lamp
That hangs over the pool table
And when the fan is on it swings
Gently side to side
There's a changing constellation
Of balls as we are playing
I see Orion and say nothing
The only thing I can think of saying


Is fuck you
And your untouchable face
Fuck you
For existing in the first place
And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch?
Who am I?
Bet you can't even tell me that much

There really isn't all that much to say that hasn't already been said on the subject.  So instead of wallowing in self-pity watching Lifetime movies with a pint of ice cream and a bottle of Pinot Grigio, just give them the finger (literally or metaphorically) and move on.  Because if you reading this, gentle readers, you're probably too good for them anyway.