F***ed Up Friday: "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple

Welcome back, cats and kittens, to another episode of F***ed Up Friday, where we examine the music that goes with your emotional instability.  Last week we examined a song about blowing yourself up for love.  At least based on the comments I got on Facebook, most of you tended to agree that "Grenade" by Bruno Mars was indeed the worst love song ever written.

This week's song certainly doesn't belong in the category of worst love songs ever written.  On it's literal face, it's about a woman who mistakes a piece of garbage for an animal.  However, much like that kid in "American Beauty" who insists that trash is beautiful, our protagonist can only lament that her relationship unrequited crush is both slowly killing her and the only thing keeping her alive.

We're not sure what else is keeping her alive.  It's certainly not food.

From her 1999 album
"When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring
There's no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo, you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter, cause you'll know that you're right" (Yes that's the title), today's selection is "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

I was staring at the sky
Just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on
Or something like that

Stargazing…something I can relate to ^_^

I was having a sweet fix
Of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew
Was a hopeless to be had

I must say, I really like this imagery. I think it’s the use of the word “fix.” Because as we all know, if we could bottle love, it most certainly would be a narcotic. And while a healthy relationship can be good for people, sometimes even little flirtations with love can get you hooked; crushes can turn out to be obsessions that aren’t healthy. Now not all crushes are inherently bad, but when you’re planning to lock up your crush for eternity, trying to blow yourself up to impress someone who’s trying to murder you, or finding someone sneaking into your room to watch you sleep “romantic,” then you’ve got a problem.

 

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were
Approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

You’re all smart people, you can figure out what this means. But in case you are feeling lazy, let’s review: Girl has a crush. Girl sees glimmer of light. Perhaps he asked her to a movie. Perhaps he merely said “see you later” and she responded by thinking that since he therefore SEES her, he must LOVE her. Unclear. Moving on in the lyrics, we realize that this little glimmer of hope has been crushed like ants upon a tuna dish. There’s nothing there.

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Another metaphor that accurately captures the total agony of being in love (thanks, cute kid from "Love, Actually").  Crushes do hurt.  That's why their called crushes.  But at least, unlike certain people, when she realizes her love is unrequited, she doesn't continue to pine over it.  She gets over it.  Imagine that.

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

Oh god, she's regressing!  She's gone back to pining.  Seriously, Fiona, you were doing so well!

And I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void"
He said, "It's all in your head"
And I said, "So's everything'" but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

There...right there.  That line is like THE line to end all lines.  How many of us have thought that at least one time or another.  Especially when dealing with childish emotionally unavailable crushes.  Seriously.  At least she gets it.

Either that or she's bat shit insane.  Unclear.

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Preach it!

Hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Hallelujiah!

Oh hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills
Because I know that I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving it works, when it costs too much to love

Amen, sister!

So there we have it.  A story about realizing you're in love, your crush isn't into you and/or is in bad news and you're like "hmmm...no."  Or maybe it's about emotional unavailability.  Or maybe it's just about Fiona being crazy and her guy just doesn't realize it.

That or it's just her way to stay thin.

Although in all seriousness, girl needs to eat a bagel or something.