In Which Our Hero Wraps Up Eurovision 2011

Well, cats and kittens, another edition of the Eurovision Song Contest is behind us, and what a long strange trip it's been.  From fake boy bands from the UK to Irish twins to Greek rappers, this year's contest has truly memorable.  Here's your intrepid hero's recap, thoughts, comments, and lessons we've learned.  And as always, there's plenty of videos.

No story about Eurovision 2011 can start without talking about the surprise winner.  In the weeks leading up to the competition, betting odds favored France, with the UK and Estonia playing spoiler.  Then, suddenly, along came the Crayola Twins from Ireland, Jedward, rocketing up to second place just behind the UK.  As of the morning of the Grand Finale, at least according to the bookies, the competition was between Blue and Jedward. Then what happened?  Jedward came in at 8th, Blue dropped to 11th, France came in at 15th, and Estonia tumbled down to 24th.  And our winner...Azerbaijan!! (??)  Here's your winner:  Ell & Nikki performing "Running Scared":

So what happened?  First and foremost, I'll go on record to say that the first time I heard this song, I thought it was nice, but nothing super special.  But as I've listened to it more and more, it's grown on me, a lot.  It's catchy, it's pretty, and they staged it well.

But a closer look at the points reveals something.

[A note on Eurovision voting for those not in the know:  Each country votes on their favorite act, although a country cannot vote for itself.  The votes are  combined with a score from a panel of jurists from each country, and the highest scorer receives 12 points ("douze pointe" in French).  The next highest scorer gets 10, 8, etc....]

Azerbaijan only got 12 pwah pointe from three countries.  Four other acts, including Jedward, got three douze pwahs, Italy took home four, and Bosnia took home five.  This certainly wasn't the runaway of "Fairytale" from 2009, but even Lena last year captured nine douze pwahs.  Russia in 2008 captured seven, and Serbia in 2007 also took nine.  So what gives?

Azerbaijan captured four 10s and and ten 8s.  Comparatively, second place Italy took home five 10s and only one 8.  Bosnia only took two 10s and one 8, while third place Sweden complemented its two douze pwahs with seven 10s.  Jedward on the other hand, only took two 10s, and in fact, only scored points from 17 countries.  Azerbaijan scored points from 30 countries.

So it may not necessarily be that Azerbaijan, as nice as the song was, was everyone's clear favorite.  It's just that enough people liked it enough to win.  And while Jedward has the same number of high scores as Azerbaijan, it seemed more of a love it or hate it thing.  And that was probably their downfall.

So what else did we learn from Eurovision 2011?

1.  Celine Dion has returned to the Eurovision stage again.  Oh wait, no, it's just Kati Wolf from Hungary.  Our mistake.

Seriously, it's kind of creepy.  The way she holds the mic, the hair, the voice, the lip quiver.  Kati Wolf to Vegas?

We also believe she was robbed.  She deserved higher than 22nd.  She at least deserved higher than Finland.

2.  Azerbaijan turned it out.  Blue didn't.
Say what you will about Ell & Nikki.  They hit their performance.  Blue on the other hand...it was...actually kind of sad, really.

Maybe had the vocals been there, perhaps it could have done better.  Instead it just sounded like a mediocre song by a boy band that's gotten a little too old for that title.  Oh wait...

3.  Iceland perhaps had the best story that nobody knows
If you watched Iceland's performance, you'd probably be thinking, "What is this on my screen?"  But the story behind the performance is perhaps one of the most sadly under-reported story of the competition.  In January, Sigurjon "Sjonni" Brink passed away mere days before he was to perform this song in the Iceland national selection finals.  So his friends did what any group would do.  They scrambled together and decided to perform the song in Sjonni's honor.  They won in Iceland and placed 20th overall in Germany.

4.  Lena's a badass.  Seriously.
Lena won handily last year with "Satellite," in the second largest margin of victory ever.  She was 18 at the time.

She returned this year to compete again.  And pulled out one hell of a performance, placing 10th overall.  We look forward to seeing if she'll try to win again in the future, but even if she doesn't, "Taken By a Stranger" will remain one of the best songs from 2011.

5.  Dana International got a raw deal
Finally, speaking of former winners and being robbed, Dana International at least deserved to make it out of the semi-final.  It's a shame really, that Jedward and Eric Saade made it through the second semi-final, leaving her behind.  Especially Jedward.

Seriously.  Here's the live version if there's any doubt left in your mind.

And really, that brings us to the end.  There's more videos to talk about, to be sure, but at some point we have to draw a line.  At least for now.  Who knows?  Perhaps there will be more commentary to come.  Feel free to drop a comment with your own favorite songs, thoughts, or comments.

But for now, I'll sign off from Eurovision 2011 in the only appropriate way.  With Moldova.